Some Info About Rape From Someone Who Knows

[MaggieMarguerite]

In response to that list of 9 ways to protect yourself from rape/mugging/etc.. someone suggested we get some feedback from someone who has been raped on what they did or what girls should know about it. I totally agree and therefore i am starting up a thread on it.

I am not asking for sympathy, as i am sure no one else that responds is either, i just want to get my story out there so hopefully someone else can avoid it happening to them.

So i will admit, i was young and so niiave -- I honestly was just stoked this dude who i'd had a crush on for so long had finally invited me over. I really did not think i was being raped until he was literally holding me down and humping me.
All i could do at that point was squeeze my legs together, crushing his balls and forcing him out. He rolled over in pain and i jumped up, grabbed my clothes and ran out of his room. I put on clothes as i hurried to his living room (i didn't want to run out to my car naked, but i was ready to if it came to that). I got dressed as fast as i could, ran to my car and left.

Honestly the smartest thing i did in the whole situation was the next day. This dude was super popular in the "scene" and pretty much everyone knew him or knew of him. The day after this went down i started fucking blabbing my mouth -- i told anyone that would listen. I didn't particularly like having my dirty laundry out for everyone but it was totally worth it. Not only did i make his life a living hell (he got kicked out of the house he was living/squatting in, a number of girls just like me stopped speaking to him, etc..) but also none of his then close friends will speak to him anymore.

I realize now i should have gone to police but i was terrified and i really did not know what to tell them. Also, i thought this dude was my friend (until that point, obviously), could i really put him in jail?

If you get raped -- or even unwillfully felt up for christ's sake -- by someone you know, and don't want to go to the police, at the least let others know he or she is a skeez bag and (hopefully) stop it from happening again.

Maggie A.

[christmas rose]

If you don't want to go to the police at least go to the hospital, you can tell them you were raped and they'll give you a dose of Plan B to prevent pregnancy (If they don't offer it to you, don't be afraid to ask.), give you a check up to make sure you're not injured and I believe they take a semen sample if there's any there.
Even if the guy didn't cum, if he penetrated then there's a good possibility that there's some of his bodily fluids in there... and they can use this if you want to press charges.
The most important thing I remember hearing is that you shouldn't take a shower or bath before going to the hospital. It washes away DNA evidence.
Don't change your clothes either.

Here's a link on what you should do if you are raped.
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/healthy/crisis/314.html

[tuesdai]

when i was 13 and my life was completely fucked (and i mean COMPLETELY fucked), i was nearly raped.
there was this guy a few year's older who lived near the mall, and i'd alwais sai i was going to the mall but really i'd go and hang out with him. we'd smoke and whatever, and one time he tried to rape me in his sister's room.
i'm not sure of all that happened, i know that he touched me.
i stabbed him with a calligraphy pen and ran awai.
i never saw him again.
i never even told anyone until last summer.

[Cherry Darling]

I was raped too when I was 17. The guy was my boyfriend-of-the-time's best friend and I thought he was looking out for me at a show. He'd bought me a few alcoholic drinks and I got too drunk. I told him I was going to get some air and went outside, he followed me and forced himself on me.
I really shouldn't have gotten drunk, after all I was underage. I always knew the guy was a sleave so I shouldn't have trusted him and I shouldn't have gone to that show when I didn't actually know anyone apart from him.
I never told the police, but I DID tell my boyfriend-of-the-time and he didn't believe me. I shoulda cut that bitch out of my life straight away and I REALLY should have gone to the polie and made the c**t that raped me pay BIG TIME, because I didn't know until a few months later but he got me pregnant and I had to have a termination.

The main things I learned was to NOT trust guys giving you drinks if they have a sleazy reputation, regardless of whether or not you know them.
Definately if you're young, don't be getting drunk without a friend, someone you know you CAN trust.
MAIN POINT: If it ever happens to you, and I hope it never will, but please, please, please go to the police, even if you were drunk underage and knew the guy. He CANNOT get away with violating your trust and your body like that, he could go on to do it again.

[Katiepsychosis]

You know, when I was 13 all my friends were much older and I would sometimes put myself in REALLY bad situations. I lost my virginity like this. It was not something I wanted to do and it was my frigging ministers step son. I reacted in a way that made it right to me in my mind which was sleeping with him again later on.

You know girls, I never realized HOW MUCH that had affected my life until 7 years later. I got help and I have sorted through all that stuff.

If this happens to you, go see a counselor. It's worth it loves.

[thedepressedgoldfish]

back in Febuary or March (i was 15) i went straight to my shrink after school and from there i met up with a friend of mine who was going to meet up with some of my much closer friends and we were all going to have a few drinks and hang out with this guy (24) who was squatting in the lobbyish thing of an apartment complex. after a while the three of us realised no one else was showing up and so we finished what we had, just the three of us. i got way more drunk than i thought i would and we ended up in the swimming pool and so all the clothes i was wearing obviously were soaked. we went back inside and i felt like crap so i was making myself puke, after that i cant remember much except they took my cell phone away from me because it was late and my mom had called the cops who were then calling me consistantly. my friend went home so he wouldn't get in trouble (this is what he told me later) and i passed out, next thing i knew this 24 year old that i had met hours ago was on top of me going at it and me being the idiot i am was too drunk to even sit up. so he had his way several times before i sobered up enough to find the few clothes that i could and start walking home. the guy had broken my bra and lost my shirt so i was walking home from across town like that and i had to call some other guy i didn't know well but trusted to walk me to where i could find my way home.

that was pretty much the worst night of my life but i never told the cops and i never saw the guy again. from what my mom said they knew we were together and i think they must've found him and given him a warning of some sort because all the high school kids he used to hang out with haven't seen him since.

i just thought i'd get that off my chest, it feels better to talk about it especially since my friends don't believe me.

moral: don't get drunk with people you don't know and if you are, know your limit (i don't, it's a problem)

[caseystilletto]

moral: don't get drunk with people you don't know and if you are, know your limit (i don't, it's a problem)

Seriously.
I don't want to get into it...but that's such good advice.

[tuesdai]

that's awful.. i'm so sorri that happened to you. not that it means anything coming from a stranger, but i believe you.

[kellieperson]

i was 12 when i was raped.

i was in a private catholic school that had elementary through high school all put together.

i guess it was just me or something... but back then i didnt know what sex was. i had just found out some months earlier what a boner was and thought it was gross.

i thought i was sooo cool hanging out with this 17y.o. guy until he started taking my clothes off.
i pushed him away and told him to stop.
but he threatened to hurt me (this was in another country and we were very close to a pretty steep cliff)
i was scared i didnt know what to do. i just layed there crying until he was done and then he dropped me at home.

after it happened i didnt tell anybody for a while until he bragged about it at school and somehow it got back to the administrators. Of course they heard a different story. everyone did.
I got kicked out. nothing at all happened to him.

of course my mom found out and she didnt believe me when i tried to tell her what really happened.
honestly not a lot of people ever really have...

and it didnt end there....
i was pregnant at 13!!!! i had an abortion. that is the worst thing thats ever happened to me in my life.

and it has fucked me up. i don't know how but i do know that some of the reason why i have the difficulties i do are because of that.
i've never gotten anything out of counseling so i dont even bother anymore.

[captainshlee]

When I was dating an ex-boyfriend, he raped me and hurt me every time we would be alone or in private. Luckily I'm unable to get pregnant. I wasn't even able to get out of the relationship until I met Cody, my boyfriend now, who nearly killed Adam. I really regret not telling anyone like the police or family members because now I have a lot of intimacy and trust issues.

[Jessucka]

jeeze, I never hear about people getting raped. Do I know this dude Maggie?

[barbievomit]

i was never raped but i was assulted when i was 5 by another child in my kindergarten class. he had some mental health issues and every day during nap time he would come and...put things up my dress. it was very minor but it did affect me. it gave me the same nightmare every night for 3 years. i could never sleep, all i did was cry. so then kids made fun of me and i had no friends all throughout school. blah blah blah.

even the little things can affect you.

[Buddenstocks]

So I have a different experience than you guys do, I was raped by another female. A lot of people don't think it's the same, but it's very hard for me to trust other girls now, espeically when they're outgoing or just really open with me. It's wierd because I'm still a very open and trusting person, but now I'm a bit paranoid of every female I encounter when really, I shouldn't be.
The end of 9th grade I went to my 'friends' house to spend the night. We started drinking, a lot, and before I knew it she was pushing herself onto me and making out with me. I didn't know what to do because I couldn't exactly call my parents and explain (or I was too scared to) so I let it happen. From there she convinced me that she should go down on me...which I kept saying no, pushing her away, and even told her about how I was on my period and it wasn't a great idea, and...well, anything you can think of. She kept on and actually pushed my hands off and held them down so I couldn't do anything.
I cried myself to sleep at her house and didn't say anything to her in the morning when my dad came to pick me up. I went to my friends right away to tell them what had happened and was met with nothing but sympathy and loyalty (this girl was also a friend of my friends).
So...the girl ended up telling a lot of people about it and saying that I wanted it...and how I have ruined her life by calling her a rapist. Wow, it must be terrible for her, eh. She still holds it against me because 'I wanted it' when really she took my trust and understanding as a sign that I was also a lesbian...apparently no doesn't mean I don't want it to her.

So, I agree with the drinking thing. I thought I could trust my friend and only ended up being hurt by it. If you're going to drink, make sure it's somebody who would never intend to hurt you in any way and maybe have more than just 2 people there.

[Leopard_heart]

I've never been raped, thank God, but I understand what it's like to be molested. I was groped and forced into a kiss twice by the time I was 7, which was very traumatizing considering I've grown up in a Roman Catholic household, and was always taught that intimacy was not something to be had between people who were not married (I didn't know what sex was until I was muchhhh older). Since those times, I've been sexually assaulted/molested over 6 times now, and not all of them have been because I was under the influence. A few times, I was scared of the people that were forcing me to do things I didn't want to, and I didn't want to be upsetting someone I was terrified of.
But if I could say anything, it would be to not even make eye contact with someone that you think is a bit sleazy, especially when you're intoxicated. Don't hesitate to say no, EVER. Don't let it happen. Don't become a victim. And if it is happening, if you've already been engaged in a situation where your worth or dignity is being threatened, kick, scream, and do anything to GET OUT.

[bella-lou-ghostie]

moral: don't get drunk with people you don't know and if you are, know your limit (i don't, it's a problem)

hah that IS good advice to some extent , but it happened tome when i was drunk at a party with someone i DID know AND with people watching him drag me *i was unconciouss*off to the bathroom to do it i woke up twice during . they were scummy people but friends of friends so i sadly thought i was ok with tehm as id known them awhile, so did the guy i hooked up with earlier taht night *who was really great when i told him and went on to be my babies daddy* . i never went to the cops, i told a few friends, to explain why i ran away to a friends immediately after , and they confronted him, wh erein i was portrayedas a ho who was well up for it , and his mates all backed him up .


sometimes , i lose faith in humanity knowing folk like taht exist, let alone with myself for having been such a dumb fuck to hang out with those wankers.